Pain killers

I find myself wanting to take my new painkillers simply because of how they make me feel, the manic, jittery energy that they infuse me with... the leaden, weightless warmth of my limbs... and that worries me.

When I got them, I told myself that my goal right now is not to live pain-free, thus I will not take them every day. (Though my prescription says to.) My goal right now is to live within a manageable amount of pain.

But, having tasted the sweet nectar of energy and temporary release from my shackles... I want to live there.

Gulp.

I will not take a pain killer every day.

I will not take a pain killer every day.

I will not take a pain killer every day.

(But would it really be so bad if I did?)