New Year in letters, 2

01/05/12
Mom and I are on the road now back to I. We are going to spend 5 days working on the house-- basically just deep cleaning, getting it ready to show for selling. We may do a little touch up painting, but probably not.
I enjoy traveling with my mom, because we travel similar, you know what I mean? We caught sight of this place called “Apple Holler”, a family farm and restaurant thing, so we pulled in on a whim and looked around. It was super cute! They had a live bluegrass band playing inside the restaurant while we were there, and they sounded good. Outside of the restaurant and gift shop, there were places where (when those parts are open) you could pick your own apples, visit a petting zoo, get a ride in a horse-drawn sleigh, pick out your own pig for roasting, etc. When we got back to the car, there was a beautiful, BIG, collie-type dog hanging around, so we played with her for a while before we left.
We still made it in time to a kosher market in Chicago we had planned on stopping at. We didn’t know exactly what would be open, so we went to the Jewish section and drove the main drag until we saw one open. When I caught sight of all these very obviously Jewish guys hanging around inside, I was concerned it would be awkward or uncomfortable (like when you walk into a Middle Eastern or Indian store and they all kind of stare awkwardly and shift around?), but they were quite friendly and very funny. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I fancy that I’ll enjoy my kosher pot roast just as much! lol I was very glad that Mom was with me, though. She is gregarious and outgoing, and I was relying on that. She didn’t let me down. :)
Mom took me out to lunch the other day. We had intended to hit up this raw, vegan restaurant in GB, and they were supposed to be open, but when we got there they were closed!! However, down the street was this awesome little place called the Urban Frog, and they had lots of yummy stuff too. After our delicious salads, Mom and I decided to pop into the antique mall next door, just for fun. We were window-shopping there long enough that the shift changed, and a lady came in to work the register where previously there had been a man. We kind of started chatting when I found a dress I wanted to try on, and while I was waiting for Mom afterward we struck up a conversation. Turns out she had a pretty lousy holiday stretch, because she has no family to speak of. So, I invited her to have Christmas or New Year’s with us next year, and she accepted! Mom joined us and our conversation, and was just as excited at the prospect as we were. Mom intends to visit from time to time and maintain a friendship with S. I think she could use a friend-- she kinda seemed like she just needed to talk, and I didn’t mind listening. I was thinking later... wouldn’t it be totally hilarious if she ended up becoming a beloved addition to the family? I mean, really, you never know.
I realized tonight that I have two weeks until I move away from I. What a thought. Everything I’ve known for the last two years is about to change... again. Seems to be an established pattern, now-- move, stay two years, move, stay two years, move, stay two years, move... But, how can I ever expect to have adventures if I stay in the same place all the time? (Speaking of adventure, did you know that raw tuna is actually good? I was dubious, but proven wrong today. Let’s just say that my mom is slightly crazy and leave it at that...)
I am quite looking forward to some of the things I’ll have the opportunity to do in Y, though, that I’ve missed. For instance, there’s this annual spring thing called Midnight At the Oasis, which is basically a gigantic vintage car show that lasts for several days, augmented by cool booths and concerts. My great-aunt took me for my 13th birthday, and I was hooked. Then, there’s the Renaissance Festival in P, just 4 hours away, which takes place every spring. I can finally put my costume to good use again! One of the kids borrowed it for the Christmas program to be an angel, but it was a little big on her lol... Closer to summertime, there’s the county fair, which is a BIG DEAL, there’s an art festival on the library lawn (at least, there used to be), and then there’s always swimming and stuff once summer actually hits. However, I just learned that chlorine inhibits normal thyroid function, so I’ll probably skip the public pools for the most part this year. Besides, who knows what the kids do in that water?! Ahh, yes, and I’ll be hiking Mt. Whitney with the S's this summer. And possibly working on that organic farm for a month or so.
I think I found a way to make some “interesting” income between now and school starting. I made a couple of batches of “bath cookies” last night, and they turned out really cute, especially the Oatmeal Cinnamon ones. (A bath cookie is an inedible disc made of epsom salt, essential oils, and fragrances that you add to your bath water to help smooth and soften your skin, and to help you relax. The best part is... they actually look like cookies!) The Chocolate Chip ones need a little tweaking. Anyway, I made a bunch to give to some lovely ladies in my life (S included, but don’t tell her, k? It’s a surprise!), and then I got the idea... I could totally market these. I checked it out online, and I just may have a niche. There’s really no supply on the marketplace that I checked out, but the question really is, “Is there a demand?” Mom thinks there is, and I’m of the opinion that there probably is. I mean, people buy bath bombs and cute soaps and stuff, so why not this? It doesn’t take much capital to start, and I could even hit up the little shops in downtown/Old Y to see if they’ll carry my cookies. The key really is packaging-- that’ll be crucial. My sister already tested the cookies for me, and they work well. It was so cute! J, the youngest, was like, “I want to smell like a cookie! Can I take a bath with one?!” Hehe :)
I talked to S yesterday, and we’ve got it all set up for me to come and work for her when I get back. It sounds like she and M had a very good Christmas, and I’m so glad. Both C and C came! Wow! (I mean, you already know that, I’m just expressing my happiness and amazement.) I bet that totally made her year. I know you know she was sad that you couldn’t come, but I understand that you guys are having crazy heavy snow up there and it’s making work difficult? S has told me a little bit, but I didn’t know that it was record-breaking! That kinda makes me glad that I didn’t decide on A for school-- I mean, I like snow and all, but that’s a LOT of snow. I don’t know how this desert rat would acclimate to that... but, I suppose, that if I were there, I’d deal with it, same as I learned to deal with the snow in I. It’s amazing how the body and brain can adapt, isn’t it? I’ve been toying with the idea of pursuing a degree in neuropsychology after I’m done with massage, possibly... I think the two could integrate pretty well. Quite frankly, though, the function of the brain and subsequent human actions and emotion fascinate me. I never really thought of myself as a scientist, but... hey, it doesn’t hurt to dream, does it?
I think I have you to thank for helping me open up the door to dream. Towards the end of camp, you asked me what my dreams for the future were, do you remember? I was totally at a loss. I’ve been simply surviving for so long that to dream seems almost audacious. Since then, though... it’s like I’m more and more able to break through that thick, stale crust that was holding me back. I think my going to school is part of that-- daring to dream of a life that is more than little apartments and food stamps and minimum wage jobs and drunk boyfriends. A life that is about helping others and living authentically and truly loving God. Oh, yes, and good food. :) 
The more experiences I work through, the more I realize how much our time together truly taught me and grew me. Thank you. And thank God. He loves us too much to leave us the way we are, eh? We truly serve an awesome God, and I am more and more amazed at the way he pays such attention to detail in my life. It’s astounding, when you stop to think about it. So many people in the world, so many people who have already been and are no longer, and yet he knows and understands me so individually. He knows my favorite everything, my dislikes, my foibles, falls, and fantasies... and he turns those around, uses them to help me and others around me (for nothing, nothing is ever wasted with God), oftentimes without my having anything but a surface, superficial understanding of what’s going on.
I’m so glad he’s the one in charge, and not me!
Check out what I read this morning in my little devotional:
“You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on Me. People usually associate victory with success: not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes. But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me. It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me.
True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me. Enjoy the blessedness of a victorious life, through deepening your dependence on Me.”
{Psalm 34:17, 18; 2 Corinthians 5:7}
Jude 24 points out that God is able to keep us from falling, but I think that oftentimes we don’t let him, you know? It’s like, we have to stub our toe, or trip and fall, or completely tap our energy and collapse before we’ll learn to rely on God in the situation we’re facing... when we could have avoided the mishaps in the first place, I think. At least, I seem to work that way. Is it just a “me” thing, or does that apply to the broader spectrum of humanity, I wonder?
No more time for wondering-- we made it safely to the house, and it’s one a.m. Two, actually, by local time. Time for sleeeeeeeeeeeep!
Good night. Take care. Sorry for rambling your ears/eyes off.

(The next morning, Mom hands me a holster and asks, “So, do you want the taser next to your bed or mine?” I thought that was too hilarious not to share. And it’s by my bed. I feel pretty tough lol. In all reality, I’m just the lighter sleeper of the two of us. And there’s no actual danger, it’s just that someone broke into the house once already, and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, you know? Plus, it makes a great little anecdote ^_^)

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