It took me a long time to get to the point where I see $0.00 on both my checking and savings accounts, and to know that I have nothing but pennies in my wallet... and be okay with it.
I know it'll work out. It always does.
Especially when I remember that I also have a nickel!! :D
Or maybe it's just that I don't care right now. Come to think of it... that's probably it.
Really, though, I'm not worried. Why? Shouldn't I be? Well... no.
I have a job. I will get paid eventually. As a matter of fact, I have a small sum coming to me this week for an odd job that I did. And the writing gig? I don't have to apply that to the wedding fund. Yes, I want to, but I can use that money to live if I need to.
Secondly, I have food in the house. I bought groceries with the last check I got, so I'm not starving. C won't let me starve, even if I can hardly bring myself to ask him to buy me groceries.
I have a roof over my head. That's not going anywhere. It's not like I am struggling to pay rent or anything.
I've got gas in my tank. Yes, with my last paycheck I also filled up my gas tank. I still have half a tank, so I can last another 3/4 of a week, at least. (Depending on how much I drive.) That'll get me through until I get paid for that odd job, and I can put that money into the good ol' gas tank.
My counseling is free. Sure, I have to drive out there, but whatevs.
I'm seeing a doctor, and my parents are taking care of the bill. What a relief! And thank God for insurance. (Speaking of, I got my official endocrinologist referral today!)
I'm applying for food stamps this week. I finally collected all the info that I need, and I'll take my textbooks with me and study while I wait. Two birds, one stone.
See? It'll be alright. And someday, when I'm able to work regularly (when I've got my massage business up and going?), I'll look back on these days of scraping by and be grateful... so much more grateful than I ever would have been if I had only known plenty.
Really, though, I'm not worried. Why? Shouldn't I be? Well... no.
I have a job. I will get paid eventually. As a matter of fact, I have a small sum coming to me this week for an odd job that I did. And the writing gig? I don't have to apply that to the wedding fund. Yes, I want to, but I can use that money to live if I need to.
Secondly, I have food in the house. I bought groceries with the last check I got, so I'm not starving. C won't let me starve, even if I can hardly bring myself to ask him to buy me groceries.
I have a roof over my head. That's not going anywhere. It's not like I am struggling to pay rent or anything.
I've got gas in my tank. Yes, with my last paycheck I also filled up my gas tank. I still have half a tank, so I can last another 3/4 of a week, at least. (Depending on how much I drive.) That'll get me through until I get paid for that odd job, and I can put that money into the good ol' gas tank.
My counseling is free. Sure, I have to drive out there, but whatevs.
I'm seeing a doctor, and my parents are taking care of the bill. What a relief! And thank God for insurance. (Speaking of, I got my official endocrinologist referral today!)
I'm applying for food stamps this week. I finally collected all the info that I need, and I'll take my textbooks with me and study while I wait. Two birds, one stone.
See? It'll be alright. And someday, when I'm able to work regularly (when I've got my massage business up and going?), I'll look back on these days of scraping by and be grateful... so much more grateful than I ever would have been if I had only known plenty.
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