Also, cha-boi! (Yes. Say that phonetically, emphasis on the last syllable and drag out the "ee" sound on the end. It comes out something like "cha-boy-ee", each one almost a distinct syllable in and of itself. Your daily slang pronunciation lesson. You're welcome.)
I submitted my first web-content writing "manuscript" last night, and the guy said "very good". Yeah! I'm an author now! Hehe. The most important thing is that I'm getting paid, and that money will go directly to the wedding fund. (E cancelled work again today, she's taking care of the grandkids. While I completely understand, it's frustrating that I can't depend on a certain amount of workdays a month. I'm applying for food stamps again this week.)
I asked C last night about our wedding philosophy, so to speak. Like, what are our goals? What are we trying to do, here? What are our priorities? Because knowing that will really help me to ruthlessly refine the wedding budget and pare out unnecessary things that I may *think* I need (thanks, Wedding Industry/Blogs!) but that really, in the light of us and the coming years, won't mean anything at all.
The reason I got to thinking about that was the conversation with J and B the other day. You know, the one where they said, "Hey, we're buying your wedding photography"? Anyway, J said something about the toast, and I jumped in with, "Well, we're having a dry wedding. No alcohol. Martinelli's!" (Neither of us drinks. And C's extended family has a problem with drinking too much. And it costs more to reserve the place if there's booze present. So... no alcohol. Plus I don't like being around people that are drinking, really.) So then J says something about the first dance. I pipe back up with, "No dancing. We're not having dancing."
The way she looked at me was like... I was a foreign species or something! Like she couldn't understand why we wouldn't have dancing. I'll tell you why-- I don't dance. C doesn't dance. My entire side of family/friends don't dance. (Except for the Big Books dance. Right, J? lol) Why would we invest in something that is so unimportant to us, just because that's what you're supposed to do at a wedding? No, thanks.
So I got to thinking... what are we about? What's important to us? How can I keep "us" and our goals in mind so as to prune out unnecessary items that are just "supposed" to be there? (Thinking on it later, though... that's exactly what I've been doing all along, anyway. Evaluate, consider, discard. Like bouquets. Why? I might, just because I have a really fun idea of doing a "bouquet sneak" rather than a bouquet toss, but... both of my parents will be walking me down the aisle. My hands will be full. I don't really see the purpose, other than that I love fresh flowers, but... I won't be home to enjoy them afterward, or I'm going to throw them to someone else?! It doesn't really seem relevant to me, other than "that's just what you do". Says who?)
I asked C last night, about our goals. What's important to us? What are our priorities? He held contact while he slowly lifted his index finger in the air. "Get married."
Pause.
"That's it."
Well, then. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. That is what the man wants, and that is what the man shall get! Everything else, to him, is extraneous.
You know what?
I feel the same way.
Yes, there are details pertinent to "Get married." that are important to each of us, but the details do not comprise the goal. (He insists that I must wear shoes. I want a cake and Martinelli's, darn it! And we both agree that we want a ceremony, not to run off and get eloped.)
It's almost like I was expecting authenticity to be difficult. But really, in regards to planning my own wedding... it's not. (In normal, every day life, heck yes being authentic is hard!) I believe it's because one of the major, underlying tenets of our relationship is that we are both very authentic people. C is, for sure. What you see is what you get-- no coy manipulations there! And I'm gaining authenticity in my own life (with much support from C), and we are both very real and transparent with each other. Looking at the basis of our relationship, it only makes sense that this "true to ourselves" would spill over into our wedding ceremony. I just need to remember that I don't have to make things harder than they're not.
And it's good to know where we stand. :)
(Edit: Hah-HAH! This totally sums up my thoughts on the matter! Totally.)
I submitted my first web-content writing "manuscript" last night, and the guy said "very good". Yeah! I'm an author now! Hehe. The most important thing is that I'm getting paid, and that money will go directly to the wedding fund. (E cancelled work again today, she's taking care of the grandkids. While I completely understand, it's frustrating that I can't depend on a certain amount of workdays a month. I'm applying for food stamps again this week.)
I asked C last night about our wedding philosophy, so to speak. Like, what are our goals? What are we trying to do, here? What are our priorities? Because knowing that will really help me to ruthlessly refine the wedding budget and pare out unnecessary things that I may *think* I need (thanks, Wedding Industry/Blogs!) but that really, in the light of us and the coming years, won't mean anything at all.
The reason I got to thinking about that was the conversation with J and B the other day. You know, the one where they said, "Hey, we're buying your wedding photography"? Anyway, J said something about the toast, and I jumped in with, "Well, we're having a dry wedding. No alcohol. Martinelli's!" (Neither of us drinks. And C's extended family has a problem with drinking too much. And it costs more to reserve the place if there's booze present. So... no alcohol. Plus I don't like being around people that are drinking, really.) So then J says something about the first dance. I pipe back up with, "No dancing. We're not having dancing."
The way she looked at me was like... I was a foreign species or something! Like she couldn't understand why we wouldn't have dancing. I'll tell you why-- I don't dance. C doesn't dance. My entire side of family/friends don't dance. (Except for the Big Books dance. Right, J? lol) Why would we invest in something that is so unimportant to us, just because that's what you're supposed to do at a wedding? No, thanks.
So I got to thinking... what are we about? What's important to us? How can I keep "us" and our goals in mind so as to prune out unnecessary items that are just "supposed" to be there? (Thinking on it later, though... that's exactly what I've been doing all along, anyway. Evaluate, consider, discard. Like bouquets. Why? I might, just because I have a really fun idea of doing a "bouquet sneak" rather than a bouquet toss, but... both of my parents will be walking me down the aisle. My hands will be full. I don't really see the purpose, other than that I love fresh flowers, but... I won't be home to enjoy them afterward, or I'm going to throw them to someone else?! It doesn't really seem relevant to me, other than "that's just what you do". Says who?)
I asked C last night, about our goals. What's important to us? What are our priorities? He held contact while he slowly lifted his index finger in the air. "Get married."
Pause.
"That's it."
Well, then. There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. That is what the man wants, and that is what the man shall get! Everything else, to him, is extraneous.
You know what?
I feel the same way.
Yes, there are details pertinent to "Get married." that are important to each of us, but the details do not comprise the goal. (He insists that I must wear shoes. I want a cake and Martinelli's, darn it! And we both agree that we want a ceremony, not to run off and get eloped.)
It's almost like I was expecting authenticity to be difficult. But really, in regards to planning my own wedding... it's not. (In normal, every day life, heck yes being authentic is hard!) I believe it's because one of the major, underlying tenets of our relationship is that we are both very authentic people. C is, for sure. What you see is what you get-- no coy manipulations there! And I'm gaining authenticity in my own life (with much support from C), and we are both very real and transparent with each other. Looking at the basis of our relationship, it only makes sense that this "true to ourselves" would spill over into our wedding ceremony. I just need to remember that I don't have to make things harder than they're not.
And it's good to know where we stand. :)
(Edit: Hah-HAH! This totally sums up my thoughts on the matter! Totally.)
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