Artichoke Hearts

Artichokes are funny things. You can't really get full on them, yet they're so delicious (especially dipped in seasoned, melted butter) that it's totally worth it. More like a delicacy than a meal, really. And the closer you get to the middle, the more tender and delicate and mouth-wateringly intoxicating they become until... you reach the artichoke heart. That wonderful morsel just melts away on your tongue, leaving you to wonder why the whole artichoke can't be made of the same stuff?

Well, anyway, life is made up of more than just artichokes. Like, for instance, kittens. Like, for instance, Juneaux.
 I'm learning alot from this cat about God, and unconditional love. Oddly enough, I found him on a deeply distressing night--the night I quit smoking again. I was heading home to confess to the folks that I'd started, and to ask for help (a step forward in admitting that I can't fix myself), but I was so absorbed in thinking about it that I overshot my turn and kept going... until I saw a kitten in the road. I tried to catch him for 20 minutes that night, but wasn't successful, so I took K with me the next night and we grabbed him (after another 20 minutes).

He was SO contradictory! He yearns for love and affection--you can see it in his response to sweet talking--but he won't let you get close enough to pet him. (Well, he didn't. A couple of days shut in my room has broken him, and he's the sweetest little thing.)

He was so hungry for love, but so skittish that he wouldn't let me help him. Why can't you see, O kitten, that I desire nothing but your good? (And here come the parallels between me and God...) I'm just trying to love you. Won't you let me?

So then I got to practice unconditional love when this cat woke me up at 5 a.m.... 2 mornings in a row. After being up with him till 11:30 the night before. Have. Mercy. And yet, I still love this kitten. Why? Certainly not because he's perfect, but because he's mine. I saved him from the unknown terrors of the wild. I love him. I want him to be happy. Is any of this ringing a bell within your heart, woman??

I really wish that I could get this through my head and make it my reality. I want love, too. But man, it's such a scary thing to let someone get close. What if I get hurt?

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