Honest Deception

Hiding, always hiding
true self, true life, true alignment.
The energy it takes
for consistency, honesty...
it washes away so quickly,
leaves pale wakes
and quiet vicissitudes
not fit to be spoken.


Freedom's gaze is pleasant,
yet haughty--
distant glistening monument
to what I cannot be.


I wish to bare my soul,
bare all,
absorb the impact of shock
and fear into my very bones
and become immune...
but right now,
I cannot bear the baring.