I've got a job!

Yes, that's right. A real job, with pay and everything!

I've realized, through this summer job hunting process, that I tend to devalue myself. A lot. Especially when it comes to the value of my work.

Anyway, just a passing thought.

So, I'll be working in California for about 4 months. Month #1- travel around to different schools and convince them that our summer camp is thebestplacetobeeverperiod.  Months #2-4- work at the summer camp that's thebestplacetobeeverperiod, and prove myself right.

I am excited. After I got hired yesterday, I began to reminisce about my days at Camp Yavapines... and I got super, super excited! To think that I get to help bring those awesome experiences to other kids is just... awesome. Yeah. I'm stoked. And they'll pay me well, which is an answer to a prayer I've been praying for a while now. Finances have been making me nervous, but I think that this job will bring me out even. Whew.

I was so happy on the way home from work today... Just... happy. Happy to be alive. Happy that Juneaux is okay (more or less). Happy that, today, my world is a good place. The sight of the river stretching and winding towards snow-dusted peaks sent my heart soaring and gliding. The blue sky's reflection on the water sent tremors of pure joy through me. The future is unfolding itself before me, and I am... happy. I had so much energy, thinking of all the things I would accomplish today, and all the things I need to get done before I leave for Az (and Ca, now). I was going to do them all! And I wasn't even overwhelmed by all that I needed to do, which is somewhat of a rarity.

Then, when I got home... I was burnt out. Tired. Headache. It felt like my cortisol levels had just totally bottomed out. So, I've rested a bit, and soon I'll meet with J. Then, this evening, I'm going to get some stuff done!

I'm really feeling the time crunch. Time is just slipping through my fingers... there's so much I want to do...

I'm sad to be leaving. I can't believe it's been a year up here already. I love this place. Everything seems so much more beautiful now that I know I'll be gone for a good chunk of time. And who knows where I'll be after this summer? I plan to come back, but it's obvious how quickly plans can change.

I love my family. I'll be lonely, I'm sure. I'm going to miss my youth group terribly. Even skipping one week of racquetball has got me going through withdrawals!

And, apparently, things with this guy I kinda like won't be panning out, after all. I mean, I'll be gone for 5 months. That's a long time. Maybe I'll meet someone in Ca. Maybe he'll "wait for me". (How romantic!) You never know.
(It occurred to me recently that I've been single for 2 years now. That is an unbelievable accomplishment for me. I'm quite proud of myself. I've become a real person, with a separate, unique identity. I can stand on my own. I've proven it now.)

Well... I guess that's all for now... My thoughts have taken off in other directions.