Road Trip: Wisconsin

I really just haven't felt like blogging lately. Maybe I'm still lethargic from my long days of sleep-deprivation, or maybe there's not enough going on to really feel the need to talk about it...

I made it home, safe and sound. The kids had no idea I was coming, so when I arrived just after midnight, I waltzed up to the front door and rang the doorbell. (Everyone was still awake- that's how our family operates in summer.) Mom called out, "K, one of your friends is here for you!" She was in bed not feeling well, though, and didn't come to the door, so J did. She didn't recognize me at first (glasses and short hair- a little different than the last time they saw me!), but after a second look, she launched into loud exclamations of surprise and joy, as did the dogs, and my brother. It was great :) I was tackled in love (mostly by the dogs) and slobbered on (that was all the dogs' doings- we don't slobber on each other around here!)

So we've all just been kinda hanging out. I've adapted myself to their schedule, so I'm not going to bed until somewhere between midnight and 2 a. m. (which is anywhere from 10 to 12 my time). It's okay, it's only for a week. I don't really like it, though. I mean, I won't be continuing it when I go home. I've realized that I actually prefer to be up and about in the mornings (not too early, though!), which is a dramatic shift from my previous night-owl preferences.  I mean, I kinda like staying up late, but I don't want to continue it over the long haul.

The first day I was here, I was very lethargic. We sat around and watched movies, mostly. I made my first batch of chicken noodle soup, and it came out excellent. I got to talk to D (another bonus to staying up late-- since he's 3 hours earlier, it's about midnight here when he gets off work), which was nice. He got my letters. Interesting conversation ensued from that... he's seen my ups and downs, my fears and anxieties, my anger, my elation, my moodiness, my pain, and... as he said, "I don't want someone better than you. I want you." Awwwwww.....  He told my mom that he really likes me. Sigh. I'm turning into what I always despised and feared. Ironic, isn't it? But, yes, I'm smitten. Bother.

Yesterday we took J, the youngest, shopping for "first day of school" clothes. She wanted a special outfit to make a good first impression. I ended up walking away with 2 really cute "shirts"/shrug-thingies myself, and today I had to stop by Goodwill to pick up a bathing suit top, and I got a couple more really cute things. Quite feminine. Lacy, and all that.

Mom got her colonoscopy done today, and it showed everything as normal, which is extremely frustrating, because she's in such constant, intense pain that she needs 2 Vicodin just to be able to function normally... every couple hours. They have no idea what's wrong with her, and it pains me to see her in this pain, because I understand what it's like to live in chronic pain. It sucks. I mean, it really, really sucks. It wears you down, it saps the joy of living, it eats you alive. It's not fair. And... we're all helpless to do anything about it. Grr. R, more than anyone else, feels this frustration. He's an in-command guy, a military man, used to getting stuff done, fixing things, accomplishing, and now, he's helpless. That must be awful, especially when it's the one you love the most that you are powerless to help.

When she recovers from the anesthesia, she's going to show me how to apply makeup. I don't wear it very often, but I wanted to play around with some colors and techniques, and I asked her to help me. We're going to pull out her old, unused makeup and play around. It'll be fun! Like a girl's date night :)

Good news- I've been eating healthier again, and being active/exercising, and I'm slimming down again. Whew. The acne, though, is as bad as ever. Mom's taking me to her doctor tomorrow to see if there's anything they can do to help. I'd like to have clear skin. It's been like, 10 years, and with this worst-ever outbreak, I think it's time to do something more drastic than "let's avoid the foods I'm allergic to and hope it gets better" and "let's try this soap!" Sunlight seems to help as well, so I'm going to be more proactive about baring my skin (when people aren't around!). Working in the garden might be just the ticket. I did sunbathe today before the sky clouded up, so hopefully that will help. (That's what I needed the bathing suit top for.)

My time here is basically going to be vacation- watch movies and TV with the kids ('cause that's pretty much all they do), play games together, walk the dogs (I'm going to bust out the rollerblades tonight, I think), just be around. Yup. So unexciting, yet so... nice. I couldn't live like this every day, though. I guess that's why it's vacation. :)

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