As amazing as that may sound, I actually LIKE not having the option of using the internet whenever I want. It helps me be so much more responsible with my time...

Been having struggles trusting God lately. I'm scared... O ye of little faith... but I'm scared that I've misread God's will and I'm doing the wrong thing that he didn't actually want me to do and so he won't take care of me and I'm going to run out of money and have to sell my body on the streets or something (yeah, right) or maybe marry for money... or run out and get a "real" job so I can support myself, because I know that I could, but then the very things that I came back to Idaho for would go by the wayside. I could get a "real" job anywhere. But where, oh where, does God want me to be?...

Struggles breed intimacy, right? So, logically speaking... God and I should be pretty tight by the end of this rough patch. C reminded me that God already set me up with some jobs here real soon that I had (conveniently) forgotten about in my stress and worry.

I hate tires, by the way. They're so darn expensive, and it seems like they ALWAYS give me issues when I'm running low on funds. Oh, wait... I'm never not running low on funds. That's right.

I really, really, really want to trust God with this... but it's hard. I don't want to be a bum, begging off of family and friends. I'll ditch the gardens and get a "real" job before I do that.

I think that I just need to sleep and talk with God some more. Hopefully he'll let me know if I'm on the right track or not.

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