Do you ever get that feeling that's like, "Hey, I want to write something!", but then when you actually get to the page you just kind of go, "Meh."? That happens to me so. much.

Like now, for instance. I have this whole "existential identity crisis" thing going on, but I just don't have the words for it right now. I just ache from the inside out, but that's from the fibro.

SOULS shows up next week for three weeks. I'm half-expecting one of them to show up at my door, but I'm not sure if I'll mess with their heads a little if/when they do or whether I'll just be super nice because I know that knocking doors sucks more often than not. I've got no money to help them with, but I do have water or juice to offer, and an air conditioned house with a clean restroom, so...

I had a dream last week that I hadn't actually graduated from SOULS, so I had to go back into classes there to finish it up. Within a day or so of arriving, I was in tears because I hated it and didn't want to be there and I wanted to leave but I couldn't (whether that's from my own fear of failure or from rules enforced by the school I am unclear on). Needless to say... I'm ambivalent about the SOULS kids showing up. Dunno whether I want to show my face or not. I know that I won't bother pretending to be something I'm not, but I'm wary of what the reaction might be. So... I dunno.

0 thoughts:

Post a Comment