The strangest thing

It's the strangest thing... I was minding my own business, making a bowl of oatmeal, when I was suddenly hit with a very strong and vivid wave of grief for the babies that I lost.

I don't know why I thought of them. But I'm very sad.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's "better" that I don't have any chilluns right now, because life is challenging enough with just myself to take care of at this point. It would be hard on the little one, having a sick mother, and it would be hard on C, trying to provide for all 3 of us. (Or 4?)

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. Even after all these months, it still hurts.

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