Currently I am...

Watching: Farscape, Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, whatever movie strikes my fancy. (Today it was Sherlock 1+2, the Robert Downey, Jr. version.)

Reading: Just finished Wise Man's Fear (again), currently reading The Dragon Book (a compilation of short fiction from various famous authors). I'm technically still reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, but I'm still stalled on that one. It got very, very dry and annoying, but maybe I'll get back into it sometime soon… Looking for new fiction to pick up.

Listening to: The sound of Drogo's fish tank pump. It's like a mini waterfall. Soothing.

Thinking about: Whether or not my pain is severe enough to warrant another pain killer, upcoming dr's appointments and my great hope-trepidation-nervousness, whether or not I can get Drogo to have sex with me tonight (and how to go about doing that), and that I should drink more water tomorrow.

Making: A bowl of cereal, but I ate it. Making art- painting my walker.

Planning: Dr's appts, what I want to clean tomorrow, seducing my husband, products for my store.

Feeling: Content, painful, worried, nervous, hopeful, fearful, proud, frustrated.

Loving: A tidier house (by a margin), my bathtub (at least 3 hours a day soaking away the pain, or trying to), AZ Green Tea, fresh fruit, motivation, visits from friends, encouragement, evening walks, creative juices flowing again.

Looking forward to: Cleaning my bathrooms, seeing the pain doctor (even if I am super nervous-fearful-hopeful!), FINALLY applying for disability, painting more on my walker and pill bottles, finding new books.

For today... Sunday, February 19th, 2012

Outside my window... Gramma and grampa's sporty red car, desert sand and weeds.

I am thinking... about the week ahead. About feelings... about what's right and what's wrong when it comes to feelings.

I am thankful... for work. For time to goof off and read. For my guitar. For dogs.

From the learning room... Piano lessons!

I am wearing... Wool socks (I use them quite frequently here, to my shock and surprise!), blue jeans, black tank, blue checked overshirt.

I am going... back to the house I'm house sitting, going to watch a movie, and possibly going to a church social. I don't feel like being social, but I just may go.

I am reading...  the Hall of Faith series; Rough Trail to the Pulpit; Prayer by M. L. Andreason.

I am hoping... to regain my balance, hit my stride... or something. To even out.

I am looking forward to... going to P this week... twice. Going to the Ren Fair! Hanging out with C on the way up and back from the Ren Fair. (Right or wrong? I still enjoy his company...) Seeing J in P. Seeing B and J at the Ren Fair. Starting a steady job this week. Getting a haircut. Starting on another cd. Getting my package from Mom. Getting paid so I can send Mom a package.

I am hearing... the TV in the other room.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Pack, cook, work, travel. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, February 5th, 2012

Outside my window... Two cars, mine and my grandparent's. Some stray cats, probably. Sand. Lots and lots of sand.

I am thinking... about food. I'm hungry. And the evangelistic series I'm going to watch tonight. And my meeting for work tomorrow morning- the beginning of my next "phase".

I am thankful... for Jesus, and his understanding. For getting the internet figured out BY MYSELF! (Well, with an article on the internet...) For my grandparents and their hospitality. For their new blender.

From the learning room... Flexor carpi radialus tendon.

I am wearing... Track pants, green t-shirt, a band-aid.

I am going... to fix supper. To text E about our meeting. To watch the 2nd half of Dances With Wolves.

I am reading...  Reuben's Portion- Josephine Cunnington Edwards. I read it at least once every time I visit my grandparents, along with "Johnny, Come Home" and "Faded Love".

I am hoping... to earn money.

I am looking forward to... working with the groups. Getting my snow tires off.

I am hearing... the TV in the other room, Grampa playing solitaire on the computer.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Figure out work, go hiking at least 3 times, get snow tires off, begin working on sermon, plan out song service and work on special music for vesper's next week.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, December 25th, 2011

Outside my window... My bed's in the basement. No egress windows. Besides... it's the middle of the night. Nothin' to see. :)

I am thinking... about food. And school. And moving. And the fact that I haven't called the S's at all since I've been gone (oops!). And R changing my ticket so I can stay here longer. And exercise regimens. And sticking to my "healthier lifestyle" commitment.

I am thankful... for a family that understands me... sorta. :) For people who crack jokes the same way I do. For respect of my personal beliefs, regardless of differing personal beliefs. For practical Christmas gifts that (hopefully) didn't cost an arm and a leg.

From the learning room... The Count of Monte Christo is equally fascinating and tedious... and quite a bit unlike the movie... but enough to where I can still watch the movie with enjoyment.

I am wearing... Pajamas, wool socks.

I am going... to go jogging with one of the dogs tomorrow. To work on K's farewell present. To work on our camp-in plans. To call the S's. To have worship with the kids again tomorrow night (got sidetracked by festivities). To call my grandparents and see if they'll let me bring my cats with me :) To talk to R about school plans and funding and whatnot.

I am reading...  The Count of Monte Christo. It's all-absorbing right now.

I am hoping... to not gain weight while I'm here. I seem to invariably put on five to ten pounds. I am hoping to help Mom clean/paint the house in Indiana.

I am looking forward to... church next week. Getting into a more favorable routine that doesn't involve staying up until the wee hours of the morning and having breakfast at 9, 10, or 11 am. (Ugh!)

I am hearing... the silence of a sleeping house.

A few plans for the rest of the week: R's surprise bday party on Thursday. Mb Indiana on Friday? No plans, really. Just enjoying my family, reading, playing board games, watching movies, and making good food.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Outside my window... A different state than I am used to-- I'm in Wisconsin! It's a suburb, sorta country. Nice. Not too overwhelming. Lots more people than I'm used to, but they're all tucked away in their houses now, due to the dark and the cold that accompanies winter nights.

I am thinking... about how to love my family in real, tangible, God-honoring ways.

I am thankful... for safe travels. For a family that loves each other, no matter what. For money to buy food, for clothes to wear, and for a warm bed at night. For health care. For clean drinking water. For water to take my showers and wash my clothes and my food. For running water, period.

From the learning room... Abductor means moving away from the body, adductor means moving toward the body.

I am wearing... black t-shirt, my mom's "Because I'm the Mom, that's why!" apron, jeans, smartwool socks given to me by K (one of the best gifts I've ever received!), and my sister's purple slippers, which are much too small for me :)

I am going... to make supper for the familia. Kale soup and rice. Go grocery shopping. Have worship with the kiddies, make truffles with Mom. Play a board game or two, and hit the sack.

I am reading...  Finished Kisses from Katie on the plane, and now I'll be continuing Hooked. Oh, and I read the 5th Justin Case book while I ate lunch.

I am hoping... to make an impact while I'm here. A positive one.

I am looking forward to... having nightly worships with the kids... whether they like it or not. Ha! lol

I am hearing... classical music (Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 in F Major, Bach), J's shower water running. Jr. muttering to himself while he plays a video game.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I don't have any! I'm gonna just go with the flow and see what happens. A grand experiment :)

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Monday, December 12th, 2011

Outside my window... There is finally a thin dusting of snow on the ground-- and it stayed all day! I think winter might be settling in at last.

I am thinking... about last minute details to pull together for the Concert. About school... about wheretheheckamIgonnalivethisisridiculousamIreallygonnahavetoliveinmycar?! About trusting God. About fears and failure and hope and tears and independence and overcoming. About strength. About flexibility vs. instability, spontaneity vs. irresponsibility.

I am thankful... for my mother, and her words of wisdom. For friends and objective opinions. For becoming hairstyles. For a heater in my room. That I didn't drink that bottle of Coke.

From the learning room... The coloration of lunar eclipses is due to the sunlight filtering through Earth's atmosphere as it passes in front of the sun. The amount of volcanic activity on Earth at the time of a lunar eclipse significantly affects the perceived color of the moon during the eclipse.

I am wearing... white socks, green cargo pants, navy blue t-shirt, grey and black hoodie.

I am going... to pack a lunch for work tomorrow.

I am reading...  Nothing. Except I almost finished A Bridge Across Time... but put it back away.

I am hoping... to have an answer to this mess soon. To learn valuable skills and lessons.

I am looking forward to... sleep. Seeing my family next week.

I am hearing... my beautiful classical/instrumental music. Currently, Toccata by W. Byrd on the harp.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work tomorrow, decorate/rehearse for the Concert on Weds. See the counselor on Thurs, last racquetball, then over to S's house to spend Thurs. night and clean her house on Fri. Church and Christmas Concert this Sabbath, Sun. and Mon. packing for my trip to WI. Also, making phone calls about school, tying up loose ends, trying to get the financial aid stuff figured out. Packing for school, maybe thinning out my belongings again?

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, December 4th, 2011

Outside my window... There are thin, sparse, ragged patches of dusted snow on the ground... but only in shadowed places.

I am thinking... how happy I am to have accomplished so much toward the Christmas Concert in the past few days. That there are so many things about Idaho that I'm going to miss.

I am thankful... that even when I become distressed and anxious, I know that those feelings don't have to rule my life, and they're not going to last forever. They are not who I am. I am thankful for learning and breakthroughs and counselors.

From the learning room... Did you know that candy canes were invented as a testimony about Jesus and his sacrifice for us? Yep.

I am wearing... slippers, blue sweatpants, tie-dyed t-shirt, and blue and white kerchief.

I am going...  to buy Christmas presents. Thank the Lord for the internet!

I am reading...  The Case for a Creator, Lee Strobel. It's good.

I am hoping... that my visit home will be good. And productive.

I am looking forward to... getting all my stuff packed.

I am hearing... K typing, C talking to J on the phone, the dehydrators going in the background.

A few plans for the rest of the week: To work or not to work? Depends on if my boss calls me back or not. Finish packing my room as much as possible. Talk to the school about financial aid. Prepare for Adventurers. Begin collecting cardboard for Christmas concert decorations. Spend Thurs. in the "big city" getting a haircut, researching trailers, counseling, having dinner with J and visiting her youth group. Prepare for my solo song this coming Sabbath. Work on Christmas presents and going away gifts.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, November 27th, 2011

Outside my window... It's dark, but I know that there's a slight, chill wind. The colorful leaves have dropped from the trees, and winter is making a charcoal sketch of the landscape.

I am thinking... of what all I need and want to accomplish in the next few days, before work strikes again. I'm also thinking of how good our Adventurer meeting was today, and how worth it it is... inconvenient or no.

I am thankful... for today. For responsibilities (they're a sign I can be trusted, no?). For friends. For cell phones. For scented wax warmers.

From the learning room... I know what to do in case of a downed power line on my car now, even if the car catches fire. There's an upside to teaching kids about safety-- you learn about it, too!

I am wearing... wool socks, grey capris, large hunter green shirt, larger red flannel shirt over top, and headphones.

I am going... nowhere in particular. (Wow. Haven't said that in a while!)

I am reading...  about the origins of holidays, esp. Christmas. It basically has nothing to do with Jesus. At all. And everything to do with the pagan gods of yore. Bummer.

I am hoping... that D will find it within himself to allow a modicum of communication to pass from himself to me once more. Hoping that my paycheck is sufficient to cover my needs and yet be able to save some money for gas to get down South.

I am looking forward to... getting this whole Christmas concert OVER with.

I am hearing... Nothing. I've got my headphones in, but I stopped listening to music, for some reason. I guess I'll turn the Brothers Frantzich back on.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Clean my car. Thin out my belongings (again). Begin calling churches around the area of my school to see if anyone's willing to put me up for a few months. Working on scholarships/financial aid stuff for school. Visiting a friend. Working on Christmas concert plans. Planning for the next Adventurer meeting (again). Work. Possibly a dr's appointment. Racquetball. Work on Christmas presents. That's probably about it.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, November 20th, 2011

Outside my window... It's dark... as it always is when internet is on these days.

I am thinking... of school, of the many projects which I find myself ensconced in, of how life is comprised of the daily struggles and toils and is yet somehow more than that...

I am thankful... for our country. For religious freedom. For plenty of food, shelter, and love. For a job.

From the learning room... Colossians 2 doesn't mean what I was always taught it meant. It's amazing what you learn when you actually stop and look at things.

I am wearing... a red sweater (actually, it's on the floor beside me, but it'll be on again before I get up and walk out of the room), black undershirt, denim skirt, leggings, navy blue long socks, wool socks.

I am going... to the vet tomorrow!

I am reading... poetry. Lots and lots of poetry.

I am hoping... that the Christmas concert will go well... and won't flop.

I am looking forward to... independence. Moving. Why? Just because.

I am hearing... Cat grooming himself, the typing of the rest of the familia on their computers, J chuckling to herself, the fire crackling in the stove.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work. Take cats to vet. Finish up Adventurer details. Christmas Concert practice. Work on parting gifts. Thanksgiving dinner with the neighbors, then Thanksgiving dinner with the fam on a different day.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Sunday, November 13, 2011

Outside my window... The wind is moaning and crying.

I am thinking... of my very first canning adventure by myself, and hoping it goes well (an hour and a half!)... of the lunch I'm going to make to take with me to work tomorrow... of how happy I am that my potato curry turned out well... of how many applications I'm going to have to fill out before I'm finally in the school doors!... of my plans to switch my car for a truck, and how to achieve that...

I am thankful... for rice cakes, peanut butter, and fruit.

From the learning room... nothing much. Haven't gotten back to my neurochemicals. :(

I am wearing... a knitted grey beanie, a tie-dyed robe (blue, purple, and green), a grey shirt, blue "life is good" sweatpants, and white socks.

I am going... to can green tomato pickles... to finish this job application!... to be prepared for my early departure to work tomorrow, food-wise and sleep-wise... to get more food.

I am reading... I gave up on reading this week. Too much to do. Wait! I take that back! I read a piece or two of poetry.

I am hoping... to add more beautiful, wonderful classical music to my tape collection.

I am looking forward to... decorating the bakery with Christmas decorations! (and getting paid for it! hehe)

I am hearing... myself chewing grapes, the family discussing supper logistics ("K, you don't have a bowl yet, do you?" "No, I don't."), the lack of wind (surprisingly!).

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work a couple of long days. Finish Adventurer stuff. Hammer away at the Christmas Program. Backpack into the hot springs with the youth group. Sleep in the hot springs ;) Set and maintain my adult, thought-through boundary/decision to take time for myself and God this coming Sabbath and forego the door-knocking festivities planned. Do some more applications.


Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

For today... Monday, November 7, 2011

Outside my window... It's dark. Night fell several hours ago.

I am thinking... of whether or not I ought to continue working at the Bakery... damaging my health... but I could use the money... and how my dopamine reward system is functioning well, rewarding me for the excitement and risk of taking steps toward independence.

I am thankful... for the life I live.

From the learning room... Reading "Hooked", and learning about neurochemicals and neurohormones. Fascinating, really.

I am wearing... a comfy, oversized shirt and my "life is good" sweatpants. They don't match. Oh, and wool socks.

I am going... to bed, sometime soon! I hope. And I am going to put on a pot of beans before I go.

I am reading... the Little House on the Prairie series. Again.

I am hoping... to be a good influence on my co-workers.

I am looking forward to... sleeeeeeeeep!

I am hearing... K and C commenting on some fb pictures of friends of theirs, the dryer methodically tossing its load, and cats grooming themselves. (I've got one on the left, and one on the right, both doing the same thing, so I hear it in stereo! lol)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work. Get my tires switched over. I want to can green tomato pickles!! Send in my completed application for school, and begin work on scholarship applications. Racquetball. Practice my special music.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing:

(How much my life has changed! C and I had planned to marry on Nov. 11, 2008. Now, almost 3 years later... I'm preparing to go away to school. Single. And content. Amazing.)

I got this from Homespun Simplicity, and I really like it-- thought I'd give it a try.

For today... Sunday, October 30, 2011

Outside my window... The remnants of last night's light frost are almost gone. Warm sunlight washes over everything, but doesn't do much to dispel the chill of the air coming through the window. Birds are singing, and all is apparently right with the world.

I am thinking... of what I'd like to get accomplished today, and also thinking how we really can't know what the day holds. I can make plans, but the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

I am thankful... for the warmth of my house, for having the house all to myself while I process and recharge (introverts, you know ^_^), for the cats that bring delight to my life, and that I have food and shelter.

From the learning room... I've been studying God's holy days. Quite fascinating. Quite intriguing. Quite... interesting.

I am wearing... my pajamas. :)

I am going... Absolutely nowhere today. I am going to work in the garden, plant the overlooked cabbage and kale seedlings, put up produce, and sort through my hope chest (what do I want/need to take with me when I move out?). I am also going to begin planning our church's Christmas Concert dealie. And, time permitting, I'm going to work on a couple of going-away gifts. I'm definitely going to tackle the remainder of my school application today.

I am reading... He Loves Me! by Wayne Jacobsen and Best Loved Poems of the American People.

I am hoping... to accomplish a lot today without having to prod myself on with guilt or shame.

I am looking forward to... Moving into my very own little apartment! I was researching apartments last night, and I'm getting jazzed.

I am hearing... The breathy hum of my heater, birds outside, and the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Adventurers planning session tomorrow, along with getting the Christmas Concert sorted out and emails sent and hanging out with H (driving out to the Selway?). Thursday, a meeting with my counselor followed by racquetball. Welcoming the family home from D's cancer surgery whenever they release him from the hospital. Perhaps baking bread? Organizing, cleaning, packing some. Getting my school application done and turned in.

Here is a "picture for thought" I am sharing: