Getting old...

Okay, you wanna know what's really getting me?

I feel like G is breathing down my neck.

I wanna throw up, because he's there, in my mind, inside me, and I can't get rid of him.

No, he doesn't have the power to ruin my life, but the bastard sure knows how to do a good haunting.

I don't even know how to describe, explain, or remedy this.

Why is he in my head? Why do I feel so gross? Why am I so on guard?

Why am I so agitated? There's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing to be worried about...

I'm safe here. I know that.

But I still feel like my stomach is turning itself inside out... like a sewer has upended itself in my mind...

It's probably all the various abuse-related things I've been working on and associating with this past week.

I don't want to do abuse related things anymore. I'm getting tired of being triggered when I work with the girls or when I'm helping E.

It's getting real old, real fast.

On the bright side, Jesus Jam is tonight. Looking forward to my first concert.