A judgment free evening

So I totally hyped myself up for nothing.

The evening with SOULS went well; so well, in fact, that I'm doing it again next Friday. It was good to see A. I didn't realize how much I missed her until we were hanging out again.

One of her girls was like, "You guys seem like sisters!"

We exchanged glances/grimaces and said, "We pretty much are..."

When A introduced me to the group, she included a brief synopsis of our history, which went something like this:

"This is my friend C. We graduated SOULS together... and academy... and canvassed together... and did an underwater basket weaving class together..."

I, of course, kept a straight face and rolled with it. The best part is that they totally believed her! :D When one of the students came up and asked about underwater basket weaving, we bounced back and forth on how underwater basket weaving is superior to dry basket weaving, because the weightlessness makes it easier for you to shape the overall product, and the strands are easier to keep in place, and... It was really funny, actually. We eventually told them the truth.

So, nothing negative went down. Was I almost hoping that it would? Maybe.

I realized, while listening to experiences and testimonies, that I was judging them much the way that I had anticipated that they would judge me. What a hypocrite, eh? So I knocked it off.

I was a little overwhelmed when they first showed up, because the girls flooded the kitchen, one after another, introducing themselves and trying to hug me and wishing me happy Sabbath and offering to help. They reminded me of a bunch of little A's (my BW partner). I was like, "Oh, yeah... I forgot how 'social' SOULS kids are..." But it was okay. They were all nice.

I am, however, glad that I'm no longer part of that culture. It was tiring, in many ways. I like my life, and I'm happy with where I'm at. But it was good to see where I've come from, you know?

After the evening was over, I headed back to the church and gave A a nice, 45-minute massage. She gave me really good feedback, and said that she can definitely see improvement from the last time I've massaged her. (20x better!)

Unfortunately, I was already having a tough time yesterday, physically... but I was so focused on the massage that I didn't think about anything else. I definitely overdid it, especially by kneeling and crouching for those 45 minutes on a hard floor and the repetitive motion that a massage naturally entails. I am feeling it today, and in a lot of pain.

I would venture to say, though, that it was probably worth it. I mean, this fibro stuff tends to be cyclical, I'm noticing... and I was already headed downward. And A really needed that massage. I won't be doing it next week, though.

I was thinking about my trip back home... and how that can potentially be a nightmare. I have a feeling that I'm going to need to seriously dope myself up. Hours of sitting, combined with carrying my stuff through long stretches of airport-- something I haven't thought twice about in years past. Now it's just another obstacle to consider and overcome... like food.

C and I are both learning bits and pieces about this new facet of my life. I share what I learn with him, and vice versa.

For the wedding, I plan to set up an air mattress with blankets and pillows in the bed of his truck so I have somewhere to lie down and rest should I need to. I'm also going to wear my fancy shoes for the ceremony, but I'll be changing into my combat boots for the reception. No sense in bringing unnecessary pain upon myself.

We'll figure it out, one way or another.

Time to go study. My first final is a day and a half!

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