Qualifying Days

So I was thinking this morning as I drifted off into blissful nap time next to the hubby... I've decided that I'm done.

I'm done with qualifying everything under the sun.

As I'm going through a day or an experience, I find myself constantly, obsessively ranking, sorting, and qualifying. "This is a good day." "This is a bad day." "This day is better than yesterday." "This experience is worse than last time." "My pain is at ____ level. Compared to earlier, I'm doing better/worse."

It's like I have this insatiable need to be able to line up my moments and days and experiences in neat, orderly categories of good, better, and best. I have to know exactly where I stand... but that has caused me so much grief. Instead of truly appreciating and valuing the moments of my living, I've been busy calculating their worth and my appropriate response.

So you know what? I'm done. I'm done qualifying my days, my pain, my self as "good" or "bad".

It's something we all do.

"How is your day? How are you?"

"Good. Fine. Bad. Boring."

How about, instead of worrying about having good days vs. bad days, I simply be grateful to have a Day?

I want to just let what is... be. Just let it be. Accept where things are at, where I'm at, and be okay. No more labels. No more fitfully dragging myself through hoops to transform a "bad" day into a "good" day. What happens happens, and the rest gets left for later. And that's just what is.

Whether I am in pain or dancing ballet in the living room; whether I feel dreadfully ill or have not a hint of a tummy ache; whether I am battling depression or walking on sunshine... today is a Day, and I am grateful for it.

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