Dare I say it?

It's been... a good day. Yes. It has. And it's over now, so I can safely say it! (Last time I was rejoicing inwardly about what a great day it was... R had a blow-up... and life stood still for a while. I don't know how the family can recover so quickly, or act so cheerful in the midst of such raw, brutal anger. I guess they're used to it. I'm an anger pansy.)

We had absolutely nothing to do today, and we definitely accomplished it. It's nice how not having any goals can make you feel super good about yourself when you get even one thing done! So I made curry and rice, and we went grocery shopping. K got her hair cut (and she really likes it!), and it's super cute. I tweezed her eyebrows and we had a semi-deep conversation. She shared a few secrets with me that have *thunk, thunk* into the bottom of my heart... And I wish those things were not so, but what are you gonna do about it?

She's been asking questions for the past couple of days, and I've just been answering her as best I know how. Questions about God, you know... mostly, I've been sharing my experiences with her, and what I've learned.

Tonight, she said something that lit a secret happiness within me. I was plunging a gross toilet as she watched, and it finally cleared up. She retreated to the doorway and said, "You better not touch me with that!"

I replied, "No way would I touch you with this! Super grody!!"

"Well, the old you would have... or at least chased me around."

"Actually, I was thinking about chasing you. ^_^ Can you get me some paper towels for this thing?"

The old me. Hah. Really? I talked to Mom about it a little on the way home yesterday... my anguish at discovering that, yes, I really am me after all. I asked her, have I changed? She said, "Yes and no. Your personality is still very much the same. You have the same sense of humor, you pronounce your words the same, and so on. But your interests are totally opposite. The things that make you happy are opposite. The direction your life is heading has done a one-eighty. But God made you the person that you are for a reason. You are... you." (Not exactly verbatim, but close.)

So, that's definitely food for thought. Yes, I have changed. But my basic personality, who I am intrinsically... is still the same. And that's okay. Hmm.

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