Battling good stress

I did NOT think that there would be this much stuff to do right before the wedding.

I purposefully and intentionally planned my projects so that I would have little to nothing going on right before... but with doctor's appointments and last minute meetings and details, there is more going on than I'd like.

Today would have worked out so perfectly, had I not had a flat tire on my car and had to deal with getting that fixed all throughout the day. Also, the limited mobility issues meant that I was dependent upon others to get me places... which didn't work out badly. It was just draining, taking several spoons that I can't spare right now.

I'm so tired... deep to the core exhausted in a way I can't really describe. Sure, I'm looking forward to the wedding, but I'm pretty much "done". I can't wait for the day to arrive so I don't have to put any more work into it. I just want to look pretty and eat cake. Is that too much to ask for??

But I still have a couple of days' worth of work ahead of me...

I'm glad I took the time to rest while I could. I needed a nap so badly today, but never got one. I never even got a rest. Bad girl. I didn't eat very well today either, ingesting hardly anything substantial the whole day. I feel like I didn't hydrate very well, but I drank my liter of water and then some, so I guess I did okay.

The new walking staff C got me at the Ren Faire has been invaluable. My walker doesn't fit in the trunk of Mom's rental car, but I definitely needed some walking support today. But really... when don't I, these days?

Even the thought of making cupcakes is daunting. I feel... overwhelmed. But I think that's just the fatigue talking. I need to get some sleep... and some cuddles.

On the plus side, R came with me to my acupuncture appointment today, and got to hear all about what we're doing, why, and why she needs to see me so often. It was important to me that he hear that, because the treatments are expensive, and while I know he trusts me with the money that he gives me I do want him to know where his money is going and why I must ask for so much. We had a good talk while I rested with the needles in me, but I got soooo sleepy. The treatments break the sympathetic nervous system cycle that my body typically functions in, and it allows the parasympathetic responses to get in there, resulting in a flood of endorphins and other stuff... relaxing me.

Speaking of relaxing, I've got a massage tomorrow. I'm SO looking forward to that. Then we'll all go swimming at Mom and R's hotel pool. I'll need to rest after that, and then S will be coming over for me to do his hair. Maybe I can talk J into making cupcakes for me? She knows how to bake with allergy restrictions... and they can help me put together the favors. So can Mom.

I need to realize that I have helpers here now that I can call upon. I do not have to do it all myself, and I know that I shouldn't be trying! C has been invaluable, now that he is home all day. I'm used to doing everything myself because he's at work all day! :) He is so patient with me, so kind, and he compensates for what I'm unable to do. (Sometimes I feel like he's trying to do too much for me, but I'm not that disabled! I can still do things for myself. We're striking a good balance, though.)

I am going to ask someone to scrub out the bathtub for me, too. It's dirty again, but I need soaks pretty frequently these days, so...

I'm not stressed in a bad way, as many people ask. "Are you stressed?" Nope. But the good stress of this impending life change, with all the business and moving parts and stuff to get done before hand, is really wiping me out.

It's nice, battling good stress for a change!

And with that I'm (hopefully) off to the land of peaceful, sleeping bliss. I've slept pretty hard the past few nights, and I'm looking forward to another night of imitating a log.