Holding on... barely.

I'm sorry for the negative tone of my recent posts. I'm just having a really hard time absorbing the shockwaves from all of the recent blows. There are even more that the general public doesn't know about, some of a very private nature... and it's just hard. I feel like I'm drowning, but I'm somehow managing to hang on.

Somehow managing to hold on to a shred of positivity, the knowledge that I do not live in a world of lack but one of abundance, and it'll be okay.

But it's hard. I want to just check out somehow... Guess I'm glad that I'm "disabled" now, because it gives me the ability to stay home and hide my head under the bedclothes like I want to. Heh. There's always a positive, right?

I've returned to a favored old coping mechanism of mine-- singing along with Evanescense songs at the top of my lungs. For some reason, the familiar songs from their old albums that I used to have help me give voice to my pain and sort of bleed it out so that I don't get full of anxious jitteriness and go and hurt myself somehow.

The nice thing about chronic pain? Stretching and doing yoga hurts enough to count as releasing the inner pain through inflicting physical pain when I'm distressed, yet it's still good for me.

I just need outlets, valves to let off the anxiety and stress that builds up. I guess this blog is one of them... that's how it got started.

So forgive my personal shortcomings, please. I'll probably be down and struggling for a while, if just for the simple fact that a lot of not-so-pleasant stuff with deep emotional and mental ramifications has happened.

Moving on...

Here's a funny video to lighten the mood. This dog has the most ridiculous bark...