Survival mode?

I'm restless... agitated. Like I've got a full-body itch, but it's under my skin and I can't scratch it. I have this compulsion to keep moving, squirming, pacing, tapping, and otherwise maintaining incessant movement.

This antsy restlessness is juxtaposed with a soul tiredness that has plagued me since Thursday. I'm weary... so weary... on the inside... and no amount of sleep has changed that.

I forgot to eat yesterday. I ate once, but then forgot about it for the rest of the day.

I ate today, and was hungry later, but just didn't have the motivation to make anything... so I didn't eat. Or did I? I can't remember. I don't think I did... but I might have.

I'm melancholy. And ill. I came down with another of those headaches, and my stomach is upset... I think it's because I was very hungry, briefly, but didn't do anything about it and so it morphed into illness, as it does. At least, that accounts for the nausea... maybe. Come to think of it, I think I was feeling nauseous when I woke up. I'm pretty sure I was.

I'm still doing what I gotta do, but I feel disjointed, like I'm just drifting. I think this may or may not be survival mode?

Hah! I did eat earlier, before I went to church. Made a new friend, N. We talked about ID briefly, as she and her husband used to RV up there. Now, however, they're year round here.

I made brussels sprouts and rice, and it's good. I've been missing the S's, though, and my mom.

I want to sleep for 3 days. Maybe four. And then when I wake up, the world will be alright again... or my little corner of it, anyway.

C's vacation is coming up next week. Awesome! I'm looking forward to that.

He asked me last night, "Do you like to paint?"

Yes, but I don't do it anymore.

"Why not? You should paint again."

>Explanation of why I stopped painting...<

I think I'm going to set up my easel again. He's right. He even suggested painting as a Date Night activity!

Oh, and today I joined SPLAT-- Society for Persons in Live Action Theatre. That means that I'll be working the Y Ren Faire, possibly breaking into other faires (if I so desire). How cool is that?!

P.S. Shouldn't have eaten. Should have listened to my body. Now I'm super nauseous--feel like I could use a good puke-- and my intestines are protesting, per usual. I'm going to make a strong cup of mint tea and take a hot bath. Maybe I'll be able to sleep afterward.

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