Surprisingly Lovely

I had a surprisingly lovely day today.

Yesterday was purely awful, in the physical sense. I was bracing myself for another hard day, pain-wise, but today was rather mild, and I was relieved. Not that I felt good, but I surely didn't feel that bad! (It really can be a fine line, sometimes... ^_^)

I went to bed at a good hour, persuaded heartily by overwhelming fatigue. (It's been a nearly constant companion for at least the last month.) I woke up early enough to have a leisurely pace before heading out to school, but late enough that I actually "slept in". (I woke up at nine and dozed for the next hour. Let's hear it for 11 hours of sleep! Yeah!)

Upon arriving at math class (early, and after spending some time in the school library), I spent the next hour realizing that not only am I actually grasping the material somewhat easily (it still requires repetition and practice, or I lose it fairly quickly, but I'm getting the core concepts), but I'm actually up near the front of the class academically. In math class. As I was explaining to C earlier, it's kind of a shock for me, because math has always been difficult for me to grasp. So to be doing well, and to be one of the "smart kids" in this subject is, basically, a new experience for me. I'm reveling in it. It totally makes all the hard work worth it, and it even makes me want to step up my game some more! Check this beauty out:

This is my last math test. You can't check your answers as you go, so you find out at the end what questions you got correct... or not. I expected to do well, but not this well! I was so pleasantly surprised! :D

So math class has been more of a pleasant and rewarding experience than I had previously anticipated.

Not feeling too well, I headed home from school and proceeded to check my e-mail. While I was doing that and having a quick phone convo about work, C meandered out and applied himself full body to the couch cushions. I meandered over and spread out on his back (which was so nice and warm!). After a while, he rolled over and I slipped in beside him, and we just goofed off, laughed, watched youtube videos and teased each other for a while. Then we went out and grabbed some sushi, brought it home, and watched a movie. I headed off to class while he worked on finishing the upgrades and installing updates for his computer, which he just revamped.

A+P class is one I enjoy, and we're in medical terminology right now (got a test coming up on Monday, egads egads), so I'm pretty much happier than a speckled pup under a gutwagon right now. After going through our lecture, Doc let us out 1/2 an hour early, so I walked back home in the warm dusk. (I literally live half a block away from the classroom we're using for A+P. Maybe a full block, if you count crossing the street.)

C and I buzzed over to the Wetlands Park where we'll be getting married, because I wanted him to take a  look at the locations and weigh in on which ramada we wanted to reserve. He actually picked the one that I wasn't as fond of, but his reasoning is impeccable. There's a big, open flat sandy stretch down behind that ramada, and it's perfect for setting up the grills. It also inspired my wedding imagination, having all that space to ourselves, and... since we're going to be at a park and all... I'm going to have a big ol' basket of frisbees as part of the favors, but also for people to play with while we're there. Since we're going to be at a park and all.

So! The lower ramada with the space for the grills, the tables set up on the big grassy area, and a pretty, overhanging tree for us to get married under. Bliss.

Did I mention that I've convinced Mom to make our cake topper and wedding favors for me? The favors will be truffles, because she's super, super good at them, and isn't homemade gourmet candy just the best favor ever? I can totally see adorable little packages at each place setting with cool looking tags on them that say "Love is sweet". (By the way, "convinced" implies that there was resistance on her part. There was none.)

After the park, we swung by Walmart to see if they had the Star Wars series (don't waste your time-- they don't), but ended up grabbing The Princess Bride instead. We got home and spent a little more... ahem... quality time together... and then I proceeded to tackle my math homework, which turned out to be only three questions that I was already familiar with.

Basically, it just turned out to be "one of those days", where life is just simple and happy and unfolds warmly around you.

I was upset this morning, thinking about D and his health status... I can't say I'm surprised, but I don't like it. And as I sit here, hoping he'll be able to make it to my wedding... I realize that the very fact that I'm unsure whether he'll be here 7 months from now means that J most likely won't get to have him at her wedding. Unless something changes. Which, of course, we're all hoping for.

I'm still upset, in a way... but, as harsh as it sounds... I just kind of had to set it aside. I don't live there anymore. My love follows that extension of my family, that's not my daily reality... Does that even make sense? I guess what I mean is that I can't live in the grief of "Oh my goodness, we're losing him." I can't. And it's not as "in my face" as it would be if I were there, so it's easier to do.

I'm not not sad (ahh, double negatives), but I'm not wallowing.

But, oh, how I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. Why is G alive and languishing in prison somewhere while D is fading at home? Not fair, not fair, not fair.

A surprisingly lovely day tinged solemn by reality.

Actually, I think that made it all the sweeter... helped me to really enjoy what I have while I have it.

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