Beloved

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

Give me your life

The lust and the lies

The past you're afraid I might see

You've been running away from me

You're my beloved lover

I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

My love it unites us and it binds you to me

It's a mystery

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

I'm the giver of life

I'll clothe you in white

My immaculate bride you will be

Come running home to me

You're my beloved lover

I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

My love it unites us and it binds you to me

You've been a mistress, my wife

Chasing lovers that won't satisfy

Won't you let me make you my bride

You will drink of my lips and you'll taste new life

You're my beloved lover

I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

My love it unites us and it binds you to me

It's a mystery

("Beloved", Tenth Avenue North)

The Prayer
"God, my heart is surely broken. It is so hard to trust others, even You. Help me be open. Help me understand, too, about anger. I am so angry at them that I never even knew I deserved their love. And I was taught that anger is a sin. Admitting this rage makes me feel evil all over again. I need to learn it is part of being human, not a sign of my wickedness. Help, God."

(God speaks:) "Cassandra, listen to Me. You have a right to your anger. Your loss is tremendous, but I do understand. I will help you heal."

"But God, I missed out on so much. I want to have a happy childhood. I want a father who loves me. Oh God, I want what I never can have."

(God speaks:) "What they did to you is wong. But now you are making your own choices for the future. You are building a new life in the light of My love. I am proud of you. Do not despair. I have been with you and I promise to remain with you."

"I want to believe. Each day I choose for the future, but it is hard to remember the pain and anger that sometimes I can't let it go for fear of forgetting again. How do I live without pain, without anger, without a family? I just can't do it myself."

(God speaks:) "I promise you this; I am your light and your salvation. You need not fear. I will never leave you. I will never desert you. Even though your father and others deserted you, I will always care for you. You can believe Me; you will see goodness in life. Put your hope in Me. Be strong."

"I do try, God, but I feel such overwhelming failure. Again and again, I slip back and no longer want to live. Please God, are You sure it's worth the struggle? Do You even remember that I am here?"

(God speaks:) "Hush, Cassandra, Does a woman forget her baby, or fail to cherish the daughter of her womb? Yet even if these forget, I will never forget you. It will be all right. I'm here."

"Okay, I will begin again, God. While the source of pain was forgotten, I could not heal. Now I know. Thank you, God, that I now know. Thanks for the memories. You always did know and You never left me. I don't understand that very much, but thank You. I will try to believe in You and--so much harder--try to believe in myself. Together we will heal, one day at a time."

"God wants to be my comforter against the cold of sorrow and loss. He wants to protect and warm me, and give me rest. He is a solace, and hiding place, and very near to those who mourn."

Okay, God. I'll trust you today.