Good morning, Yah.
How are you today? I hope your night was good. I know you’re busy, especially because you don’t sleep.
That’s kind of a hard concept for me to wrap my mind around -- I depend on sleep so much!
So what, I wonder, does today hold?
Whatever it does, I want you to be by my side for it. I want you to live in me for it. I want to be yours for it.
You said that you will give a new heart for the old, stony one. You said that you’re knocking, and if anyone opens the door, you’ll come in and eat with them. You said that you have sent the Holy Spirit to teach us all things, and to guide us into all truth.
So... I’m saying, “Yes.” Yes. Please, abide with and in me today.
I have this horrible feeling that I’m going to mess up the plans you have laid today. Can I be sorry in advance? I don’t want to mess up your plans- I want to fit perfectly into them, like a puzzle piece.
Can I ask you something? Can you please get me back my Bible case? I really miss my devotional book, and my Bible.
So the question remains- what would you have me to do today?
Take me, O Lord, as wholly Thine. I lay all my plans at Thy feet. Use me today in Thy service; abide with me, and let all my work be wrought in Thee.
I plan to wash my car and go to the store. Then I’ll work on my survival talk throughout the day, practice some guitar, and this evening I plan to go around to the different rooms and give a back rub or two. (It helps that half of the people I knew have graduated, so there are less girls to vie for my massages!)
That’s my plan for the day. Feel free to change anything. But please- let me know it’s you!! If I know you’re the one moving stuff around or editing, then I won’t be frustrated... I hope.
And I need help controlling my heart again. It’s perked up, because there are godly men here. I want it to shush up already. God, I really don’t want to be desperate. And you understand my predicament- I want a boyfriend, but I’m so scared of what that entails and leads to! Platonic relationships are my forte, not romantic ones.
Plus, I’m still bugging out about the future. Why do I want to know so badly? Why do I need to know? I don’t.
I’m going to say it here, so that I can affirm this basic truth that I hold near and dear now.
I trust you, Yah. I trust that you will provide for me. I trust that you have a plan for me. I put myself at your mercy. I’m all yours.
Help me to trust you fully... to trust you more.
I trust you.
I love you.
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