I heard a song on the radio that has captured my attention...
For some reason, the words and tune intrigue me. Perhaps it's because I've had this thing about dying young... like, it's desirable, because I want my life to have an big impact. Something about a life that goes out before it's expected causes people to really think... to examine what is and is not important, truly. It makes a statement that sometimes cannot be made any other way.
On the other hand... I don't want to die. Especially young. I'm afraid that I haven't done enough. (Not in the sense of, say, earning salvation, because I can't, but in the sense of "it can't be quitting time because I haven't accomplished as much as I'd like to".) I haven't helped enough people. I haven't loved as deeply or as well as I'd like to. There's just so much more to life- I'd hate to miss out on it.
And yet, the thought (or possibility, rather) of dying young stirs a spark of passion within my soul. I feel this sense of urgency spring to life, and it pushes me on, lifts me up... it makes me want to do something. Enough ambivalence. I want to do something meaningful with whatever time I've got left.
For some reason, the words and tune intrigue me. Perhaps it's because I've had this thing about dying young... like, it's desirable, because I want my life to have an big impact. Something about a life that goes out before it's expected causes people to really think... to examine what is and is not important, truly. It makes a statement that sometimes cannot be made any other way.
On the other hand... I don't want to die. Especially young. I'm afraid that I haven't done enough. (Not in the sense of, say, earning salvation, because I can't, but in the sense of "it can't be quitting time because I haven't accomplished as much as I'd like to".) I haven't helped enough people. I haven't loved as deeply or as well as I'd like to. There's just so much more to life- I'd hate to miss out on it.
And yet, the thought (or possibility, rather) of dying young stirs a spark of passion within my soul. I feel this sense of urgency spring to life, and it pushes me on, lifts me up... it makes me want to do something. Enough ambivalence. I want to do something meaningful with whatever time I've got left.
Jolene | April 8, 2011 at 8:11 AM
How interesting that Jackie had me listen to this exact same song the other night... she said she want's to sing it at church! ;)
I think we've all had fleeting feelings like you've described here.