So, I had this dream last night that I got engaged to C.
He got me a beautiful ring, actually. It was gold, with a deep red stone set in the middle, and three arching starbursts of diamonds gracing the left side. Oh, and there were these delicate loops and swirls of metal on the top of the ring. It was just beautiful... even though I dislike gold, and don't really care for red stones OR diamonds!
It didn't happen just slap-dash, mind you. We started spending time together, and then more time, and I wasn't even really aware that we were in a relationship, but when he gave me the ring, I said yes.
After I said yes, some friends drifted over, and we were all chatting, when suddenly I had this horrible sinking feeling crash over me. I remembered D, and the fact that we are sort of in a relationship! It makes it awkward and difficult to date someone when you're engaged to another person, don't you think?
Anyway, my happy feelings dissipated, and the magnitude of what I'd done began to press into me. I thought about D, and then I looked at C, and my choice was made. I jerked the ring off of my finger and interrupted the conversations flowing around me.
"I can't! I just can't! I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I promised myself I wasn't going to get into a relationship with you. Then I went to see you once, and then I saw you again, and it just kind of happened..."
He was, needless to say, very hurt. This would be the second time I'd broken off an engagement with him. But I knew I was doing the right thing. Just because I still have feelings for him doesn't mean that it's the right path.
And it's funny... it's almost like that dream represented the reality of the situation I find myself in.
C gave me a ring, and though it was beautiful, it was everything that I don't want. The same with the life we would live. It might be made pretty by the emotions and devotion, but it would be made up of everything that I don't want.
My choosing D over C shows me that I am ready to move on- I see the value in choosing what God has placed before me, rather than what I childishly insist on for myself. Yeah. He's different than C, that's for sure. But it's better, too, because we have the common foundation of wanting God's will to be supreme, even if it doesn't end up at the altar.
And with all that going on in my head, it's no wonder I was still tired when my alarm went off this morning!
He got me a beautiful ring, actually. It was gold, with a deep red stone set in the middle, and three arching starbursts of diamonds gracing the left side. Oh, and there were these delicate loops and swirls of metal on the top of the ring. It was just beautiful... even though I dislike gold, and don't really care for red stones OR diamonds!
It didn't happen just slap-dash, mind you. We started spending time together, and then more time, and I wasn't even really aware that we were in a relationship, but when he gave me the ring, I said yes.
After I said yes, some friends drifted over, and we were all chatting, when suddenly I had this horrible sinking feeling crash over me. I remembered D, and the fact that we are sort of in a relationship! It makes it awkward and difficult to date someone when you're engaged to another person, don't you think?
Anyway, my happy feelings dissipated, and the magnitude of what I'd done began to press into me. I thought about D, and then I looked at C, and my choice was made. I jerked the ring off of my finger and interrupted the conversations flowing around me.
"I can't! I just can't! I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I promised myself I wasn't going to get into a relationship with you. Then I went to see you once, and then I saw you again, and it just kind of happened..."
He was, needless to say, very hurt. This would be the second time I'd broken off an engagement with him. But I knew I was doing the right thing. Just because I still have feelings for him doesn't mean that it's the right path.
And it's funny... it's almost like that dream represented the reality of the situation I find myself in.
C gave me a ring, and though it was beautiful, it was everything that I don't want. The same with the life we would live. It might be made pretty by the emotions and devotion, but it would be made up of everything that I don't want.
My choosing D over C shows me that I am ready to move on- I see the value in choosing what God has placed before me, rather than what I childishly insist on for myself. Yeah. He's different than C, that's for sure. But it's better, too, because we have the common foundation of wanting God's will to be supreme, even if it doesn't end up at the altar.
And with all that going on in my head, it's no wonder I was still tired when my alarm went off this morning!
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