Better, a bit.

I spent some time talking to C, discussing my depression that I'm in right now (basically just reiterating what I've written here in the past 24 hours). He agrees that it makes perfect sense, though we both know there's really not much either of us can do about it other than what we're already doing-- keep trying to find answers, do the things that make us happy, and just hang in there. We both went and laid down for a while to cuddle, since we were both tired and I just needed some physical contact to boost my neurochemicals and settle out my hormones a bit. Cuddling led to snuggling which led to other things, and I feel much, much better. It had been a long time, since I'd been so sick this past week. It's amazing how relaxing and yet mood boosting physical intimacy is for me, no matter how tired I am. I really can't go long without sex without it significantly impacting my mood and daily performance.

At any rate… I'm still frustrated, somewhat overwhelmed, and feeling helpless in a major way, but my emotions are a bit more level. I'm going to go put on some 80's music and tidy up the house a bit. It got so messy and dirty while I was super sick, and that's another thing that's been frustrating me. I really dislike an untidy environment. It can totally put me in a funk, which I think is also contributing to my down mood.