Dear God,

I was raped in my dreams last night. It was awful.

I think it started with my visit to the chiropractor's. His secretary was gone visiting grand-kids, so it was only him in the office. I immediately had misgivings about being alone with a guy (not even this guy in particular, but ANY guy-- even working for B has been somewhat of a mental challenge at times), but I put them aside. Don't be stupid, nothing's gonna happen... what, you think you're that irresistible? He even asked, "Do you want to reschedule? I don't want you to be uncomfortable." I airily replied, "No, it's fine." (I immediately began mentally kicking myself, because I knew that if anything did happen, it would now be my fault.)

Well, it was fine, in the way of nothing happening. He's an upstanding guy. But he did a new stretch, which was to have me cross my arms, and then he leaned over and sort of did this twist/pull thing on my arms to pop my thoracic back. It wasn't anything, but I guess it must have been triggering in some way, because I left ASAP, and in a funk. And then... the dreams...

In my dream, I was playing guitar in some sort of vacation home, and the windows were open. It was a beautiful day, and I was enjoying myself. Then two guys walked up to the open window and started chatting with me. I tried to ignore them, because they had that "vibe", and they went away... but then one of them came back and attacked me. I put up a whale of a struggle- I even tried to hit him with my guitar! It didn't work, though. Fortunately, my mind fast-forwarded through the act itself, to the end, where he made some crude, derogatory remark and left. After that, it seemed that every creep in a five mile radius knew that I was defiled, and I had to deal with at least one other attack. I managed to fend that guy off, though, and run away and hide. When I came back out of hiding, I was accused of leading him on by a friend of mine, which really hurt.

All in all, my dreams sucked. I wish I could control my dreams like some people I know.

At least it was nobody I knew.

I'll see you later, God.
I'm glad I can tell you this stuff.

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