I get knocked down..

...but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down! (Side story: when I was a kid, my mom had a cassette tape with this Chumbawumba song on it, right next to that one by the Proclaimers, 500 Miles? I rewound and rewound and rewound those two songs over and over again. And again. ^_^ To this day, those songs are near and dear to my heart. I think part of it is the accents. Heh.)

Just when I think I've got it down, that I've won... I get sick again. Bother.

It looks like today will be a "sick-day". Maybe I'll make some veggie-noodle soup later. At any rate, I've been up since 4:30, in pain. Trying to sleep, to no avail. Trying to get rid of the pain, to no avail. Hot baths and pain killers just aren't cutting it today, folks. And sure, I could soldier on and tough it out. I know I could. I've done it a bagillion times before with way worse pain. (SOULS, anyone? Ugh.)

But I'm trying to do things differently with my life these days. I'm trying to be kind to myself. I'm trying to allow myself to be frail and chipped and human and, yes, even sick.

The way I figger, if I can be kind to myself in and through this sickness, then it will pass quicker, yes? Rather than flogging myself on to greater heights of productivity?

I said it aloud last night, and I'll say it again-- I'm so glad that I have a lifestyle setup that allows me to take sick days if I need to.

I mean, sure. I'm worried about money. I told C last night/this morning that I'm worried about it. I don't know how I'm going to buy food and gas for the rest of this month, and I only have 6 dollars in my bank account. (Yes, there's the money I just made writing, but that's ear-marked for the wedding... and there's my tithe, but that's not my money... so it's not like I'm fully destitute, but none of that money is available, you know what I mean?) Yet I trust that I'll be okay, that something will come through. It alway does.

So what am I going to do with the endless hours on my hand during this sick day? Rather than spend it all on the internet, I'm going to pursue another income-generating idea that I had. I'm not going to say what it is, just in case it doesn't work out. (I hate having to eat my words.) But... we'll see. It might go well. Oh, yeah. And I'll do homework, too-- midterm, studying for a test, and math homework. And I'm going to try to sleep, if I can. And I'd like to make a wreath. I'll probably hammer out some of the next website I'm working on, while I'm at it.

You see? A sick day doesn't mean an unproductive day. It'll be good. That's what I told myself about two hours ago. Today is going to be a good day.


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