Holiday recap & sort of resolutions

Christmas with the family was good. Eventful, yet uneventful at the same time. It's a bit strange, how dynamics shift and change as you get older, as different members of the family grow up and move out and move on...

It was kind of like a Twilight Zone, this holiday. Everything was the same as it's been for years, yet off just enough to give you the willies and a vague feeling that something's changed, but you just can't put your finger on it...

Of course, little Peanut had a lot to do with that. Not in a bad way, but having a baby around significantly alters the flow of your days. K lives with her boyfriend an hour and a half away most of the time. J is a cheerleader and in dance, developing her own life. Mom is working again. R doesn't yell much anymore. Jr... is still the same. lol.

The family is getting counseling, which I'm thrilled about. We had a family session toward the end of my stay, and I think it was good. It opened my eyes to a few things, anyway.

Mom, Peanut, J, and I all took a trip to I to visit Mom's sister for a few days. In times past, we would stay at the old house that Mom was fixing up to sell. Now, however, it's sold, so we had to stay with V.  It was... eye opening. Unpleasant. I couldn't wait to leave. Her husband, P, is a big time controller (micromanaging everything and everyone), and kind of a jerk. Every time I was preparing food, he'd come up and make some snide "joke" about how disgusting my food looked and how wonderful it was that he didn't have to eat that stuff, or how he would never eat it in a million years. Towards the end, I started being snide back, and it worked. He shut up. Both Mom and I became physically ill from the stress of the environment, not to mention the nasty stomach virus that we picked up from V's daughter, who came the day before we left. I was throwing up most of the way home, and by the next morning I couldn't even keep liquids down. About 24 hours in, though, I started recovering. Mom ended up in the ER a couple of times due to her extreme pain. She didn't throw up, but she was really, really hurting and feverish. I think she's recuperating, though...

I have noticed since being back that cold weather aggravates my fibro pain. I had to use my walker quite frequently while I was back east, but I've managed to get along without it here (so far). I do think I'll be taking it with me while I'm out running errands today, though.

I've pretty much just been recuperating from that stupid cold/infection since I got home. Thank goodness that the massage program was delayed, because I would have had to start classes while miserably sick, and that would have been, well, miserable.

C got me a thoughtful Christmas gift-- an mp3 player! He noticed that I used to have an iPod, but hadn't had it for a long time, and wanted me to have a way to listen to music when I go for walks. Unfortunately, all I lacked was a charger cable (which I lost somewhere in ID), and J gave me an extra of hers while I was back home. So now I have a working iPod and an mp3 player! lol. I talked to C about it and we agreed that it would be prudent for me to return the mp3 player and use the money for groceries. It is, after all, the thought that counts. It was very sweet of him.

Also, C's sisters left a Congrats On Your Engagement card (they visited for New Year's) that contained quite the sum of money! I'm going out to run wedding errands today, which I'm excited about.

C says that after this next paycheck, we'll be able to go for the bank loan and start working on getting a house. He told S while I was gone that we won't be taking him with us, so he needs to start looking for a place to stay. I guess that really motivated him, because he got a job yesterday and is looking for a place of his own! So C and I will have our own little love-nest, which I am terribly excited about.

I realized the other day that it's been almost a year since I came down here from ID. It went by so fast! I have changed quite a bit, I know that... and yet I feel more myself than ever before. I don't have New Year's resolutions for this year, per se, but I do have a couple of words that I want to focus on--

I guess you could say it's my AIM for this coming year. Hehe.

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