...how often feelings change? Just another reason why I can't trust them to guide me safely through life... sure, they weigh in, but I'll not hang my destiny on them!
After 2 days in a row of work, I feel better. No, not with camp, but with H. She's coming up to the edge of the summer literature evangelism programs, and there is a ton of stuff to be done yet. I've done some jobs that would have been very time consuming so that she can focus on other things that no one else can do. It's been good. I feel good. I feel better about myself as a person now that I've done something constructive (outside the four walls of our apartment!).
Also, I got to Skype with my family a couple of nights ago. That was great. I missed their faces!! In person would be better, but thank God for technology.
H and I had a picnic and an afternoon of relaxation at the beach today. I am thoroughly sunburnt. No, of course I didn't wear any sunscreen! Why would I? I was only in the searing sun for three hours. (It was funny that we sandwiched our relaxation time in between work hours ^_^)
D called tonight. We only talked for about an hour, but it was sure good to hear his voice again. He'll be at the same campsite tomorrow night, so he'll still have reception and call me again. (It's weird how much I missed talking to him... and it was only, what, four or five days? Okay, I won't pretend like I don't know. It was four days, going on five. It would have been five, had he not called tonight.) It seems that the pattern we've established is that of talking every other night... so my routine was seriously thrown off. And he's always the one that calls me. I've only called him once or twice. I rather like it, though... I feel... pursued. :) Of course, one of the main reasons is logistics- he doesn't necessarily have cell reception, but I always do, and I'm pretty much free all the time. Thus, the one who is the least able to talk "whenever" makes the call when they're available. When summer camp starts, I'll be the one calling him, I'm sure.
Just thinking about my past relationships... and how this one measures against the others...
We've been dating for a month, roughly. (It'll be a couple days before it's exactly a month. And yes, I keep track of this kind of stuff.) My first boyfriend and I didn't kiss until we'd been dating a month. (My first kiss! Didn't quite make it to sixteen, as I was hoping...) My second boyfriend and I only lasted a month, I think... both times we dated. (We got quite physical within that month, though. I realized later that he pretty much just wanted in my pants.) Then C and I... well, a kiss is what launched our relationship, so we were probably making out by this point. And GM? We didn't even make it to a month! We did hold hands, though. *gasp*
D? I've shaken his hand. We hugged once, at his baptism. And.... that's pretty much it. Emotionally, we're not very involved, either. I mean, both of us know that we like each other. That's pretty clear. (Otherwise we wouldn't be bothering to date each other, now would we?) And we've been open about our pasts, but even when discussing current events in our lives, I don't tell him more than I tell anyone else. He's not the person I go to for emotional comfort, like I used to do in the past with my boyfriends.
I'm glad. I still have no regrets about anything thus far... and I've never had that before with a relationship. It's new, and I like it.
Someday, though, we're going to have to spend time physically together in one geographical location... and that's the part that I'm not sure how to work out. Money-wise... I dunno. I'm just praying about it. I'd like to either go up there a little after the summer, but perhaps it would be better if he were to come back to ID to visit? Because then I could see him in the context of his family and friends, and the family could get to know him, too. I'd like that. We'll see... when the time is right, the topic will be broached.
Anyway, with all the turns of events, and the understanding of what was bothering me, I feel one hundred percent better! (Except for this darn sunburn...)
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